Even though it’s Summer, sun is shining and warm bright days let us get outside and have adventures with loved ones, grief has no season. In this article Dr. Peter Wood shares insights as a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor on accepting and recovering gracefully though loss.
The loss of someone close to us is an inevitability of life. Life and death are as inseparable as are Yin and Yang; one does not exist without the other. The pain experienced with loss can be excruciating and seemingly interminable. Everyone’s journey through this pain is individual. Some commonalities exist in the typical experience of grief. TCM adds a perspective on how the physical body manifests the psycho-spiritual symptoms through its 5-Elements Theory.
Grief and sadness are said to deplete the Qi of the Lung Energy system. One way we can be physically affected by the depletion of Lung Qi is that we can be left more susceptible to catching colds and flu, and we may even develop new environmental allergies. This is because the Lung Energy system houses what is called the Wei Qi, or Defensive Energy. This particular vibration of Qi is said to circulate in the superficies of the body, protecting us from harmful energies (viruses, bacteria) in the external environment. I often compare Wei Qi to the blue light ‘shields’ surrounding and protecting starships as depicted in Gene Rodenberry’s Star Trek series. When our shields are low, we are easily attacked by pathogens and may find we’re getting sick more often than usual. This deficient Wei Qi can also cause our body to overreact to minor external triggers like tree pollen or cat dander, sending our system into an inflammatory histamine reaction to these otherwise innocuous substances.
Within the controlling sequence of the 5-Elements Theory in TCM, the Lung energy system (Metal element) is said to control the Liver energy system (Wood Element). When the Lung system becomes weakened, it can no longer effectively control the Liver, often leading to the experience of irritability, anger and rage. This tension in the Liver system can, in turn, hamper the Spleen system (Earth element) ’s ability to assimilate and absorb the Qi of the food we eat. The Earth element is said to be the Mother of the Metal element – Lung system. When Qi is not effectively being extracted and sent up to nurture the Lung energy system, a vicious cycle occurs in which the already deficient Lung is unable to rebuild its stores and recover from sadness. This weakened Spleen Qi will cause us to ruminate excessively, described often by those who grieve as “I can’t shut my mind off.” (Spleen deficient), while at the same time being stuck in the sad memories and thoughts surrounding the loss of their loved one (Lung
deficient).
The Lung energy system shares a close relationship with the Heart energy system. Their close proximity within the Upper Jiao sees the Lung feeding the Heart with the Qi it receives from the Spleen. When the Heart Qi is deficient, it is said that one’s ability to experience joy is hampered.
As we age, there is a natural decline in Kidney Essence, the source of all Yin and Yang energies of the body. A healthy Lung system indirectly feeds the Kidney by disseminating Qi downward. Picture a water fountain spraying up and outward, eventually having the water fall downward with the pull of gravity. If Lung Qi is affected by Grief, this downward moving action of Qi is stunted and the Kidney is unable to be nourished in this way. It must rely further on its stores of essence, declining already as we age. When the Kidney is deficient, the emotion of fear is most evident. A grieving person with this imbalance might find themselves faced with their own mortality and challenged to come to terms with the fear of those thoughts.
Developing a daily breathing meditation practice is a highly recommended piece in recovering from grief. As mentioned earlier, the Lung Energy system controls the Liver Energy system. Relieving the stagnation of Liver Energy brought about by the emotions of Sadness and Grief over time is enabled by mindfully deepening and lengthening the breath. This reminds the Liver of its important role of soothing the flow of Qi, Blood and Emotions in the body, restoring its lost rhythm. Simultaneously, long inhales and slow exhales give the deficient Lungs a chance to absorb Qi from the breathed-in air, strengthening its own energetic system and, indirectly the energetic systems of all of the other organs.
Another way to process grief while getting Lung Qi back in order is to engage in breathwork. Many experience breakthroughs during guided breathwork sessions. It can be a powerful way to release old energies stuck in the organs and to move us through the processing of grief. Evolve’s Deedee Poyner, RPC uses breathwork and somatic techniques alone or in combination with counselling appointments; supporting her clients as they unwind and transform stored emotions.
Grief never leaves us, but finding meaning in it helps us move forward. As we search for this meaning, TCM recommends addressing the energetic imbalances caused by grief, to help alleviate any undue physical and emotional suffering. It is essential in treatment to address the appropriate energy system by diagnosing the pattern of imbalance indicated by the emotional and physical symptoms and signs (pulse and tongue). Bringing proper energetic flow back to the system with the use of acupuncture, medicinal herbs and breathing meditation can help end the vicious cycles prolonging our recovery. The experience of grief is very nuanced. There are many permutations of how the organ systems interplay and the above is simply a good starting point at addressing each case on an individual basis.
Are you dealing with grief and looking for support? Click here to book an acupuncture appointment with Dr. Peter Wood. If you’d like to book a counselling or breathwork appointment with Evolve’s RPC Deedee Poyner email us at info@evolvevancouver.ca
Please note that any advice in this article doesn’t replace personalized medical advice from a professional.